why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
