Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
