Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
