i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize