So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize