all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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