He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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