If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
two words...techno handjob
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
