The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
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He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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