I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can u get pink eye on your cock?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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