fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
