She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
