he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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