My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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