I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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