i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
