so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize