My hand turned me down
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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