some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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