I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
