I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
