I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
