Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
how does that bad decision feel?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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