ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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