can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
