Your face is a jimmy john
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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