I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
