My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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