The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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