happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize