I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
