Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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