Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
