I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
