my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize