What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
