I got chris browned last night
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
