Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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