3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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