what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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