Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
