It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize