I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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