Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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