i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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