I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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