You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
