I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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