Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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