I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
