There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
