checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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