And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Semen is not good for contacts.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
