Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
