i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
