then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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