You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
