just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
